Bermuda Beach Blanket Bingo, Chapter II, June 4, 2011

I headed down to the lobby level of the hotel for a fix of my favorite morning beverage, a Starbucks venti mocha [for you non-Starbucks addicts, venti = Italian for twenty ounces].  I was outraged to find out that this particular franchise is closed on weekends, a disgrace to the Starbucks chain!  However, I did stumble upon another coffee shop farther down the concourse and scored a cup of hazelnut coffee.  After consulting the concierge so I would not waste my time or overtax my knees by setting out in the wrong direction, I left the hotel in search of Branford Place and a men's shop or two.  As I later confessed to the Russos, if Jill had known just how seedy the neighborhood was, she would not have let me go!  I did not find either of the men's shops I had encountered on yellowpages.com but as I was traveling west I spotted the Porto Bella Men's Shop on a cross street.  Jill had warned me that I would be paying a premium price in the NYC area, but when I saw the sign, "Buy 1 suit, get 2 suits free," I knew this cheap, German Lutheran had come to the right place!  The sales staff was very helpful, probably because they were bored to tears.  I had one salesman measure my neck since, even at 56, I am still a "growing boy" and I cannot remember the last time I wore a dress shirt.  [For you non-cruisers, there are usually one or two "formal" nights on a cruise.]  I selected two shirts, one dark purple and one beige.  I would later be complimented by Lisa on my matching tie and pocket square.

I "stalked" the Russos after checkout time and was surprised to find them still in their room.  I texted Diane that Jill was just about ready.  Diane responded that we would have to hire two cabs anyway so they would meet us at the ship.  Ironically, we ended up beating them to the port.  We were already standing in the boarding line when the Russos arrived.  Unfortunately, we were separated again when we did not have all of our necessary paperwork ready.  I recalled an email from Royal Caribbean back in March, "Your cruise documents are ready," but that had faded into the background after Jill's dad's fall.

After finally satisfying the check-in requirements and posing for our welcome-aboard photo we headed directly to the Windjammer Grill on deck 11 for lunch.  Assuming the Russos had gone to their cabins first, we reserved a table for six.  Since no good deed goes unpunished, the Russos had already started chowing down at another table without us!  Fortunately, Ken found us and guided us to their table.

After lunch we located our cabins and started to unpack.  The mandatory lifeboat drill temporarily interrupted our mission:  to find our first tropical drink.  By the way, this was our first-ever lifeboat drill without lifejackets.  After the drill we walked "upstream" against the flow of dispersing passengers and located the Russos farther up the deck.  [When we first booked our cruise the closest we could get to the Russos was 18 cabins away, so they were not assigned to our lifeboat.]  Our reassembled group headed directly up to the pool deck (#11).  Pina coladas (men) and mai-tais (females) were promptly ordered while we watched the ship pass dangerously close to the bottom of the Verrazano Narrows Bridge and the Manhattan skyline disappear into the distance.  The Russos decided to dance to the live DJ as we all wondered where the live steel band was.  Did Royal Caribbean cheap out on the entertainment?  I furtively snagged a towel from one of the VIP deck chairs to keep chilly Jilly warm.  We parted ways again when the Russos took off walking and we returned to our cabin to finish unpacking.

Our tentative plan was to regroup on the Royal Promenade at 6:30 for the complimentary liqueur tasting.  We held up our end of the bargain but the Russos found themselves in the Viking Crown Lounge and did not want to move so they sent Stephanie down to retrieve us.  By the time Stephanie found us we had reached the front of the line so we invited her to join us for a quick nip of liqueur before rejoining the rest of the group.  At 7:30, after a round of cocktails, we headed down to the Palace Theater for the "Welcome Aboard Show."  First up was a painter (why a painter?) who did not impress any of us with his skills and did not even finish his painting!  Fortunately, the guitarist/comedian who followed was very funny as well as very talented on his guitar--he impressed me with his intro to the Who's "Pinball Wizard"--but it took him until 8:40 to realize that he was losing most of his audience to the 8:30 dinner seating and he had better wrap it up!

At our first onboard dinner we met our waiter, Darryl from India, and his assistant, Komang from Indonesia.  The sudden and coincidental mention of "Indonesia" prompted the Russos to disclose to us for the first time that Lisa was soon headed there [specifically, the island of Bali] to study its music, one of the seven sub-disciplines [according to Ken] under the umbrella of "anthropology," the study of man.  Komang was more than happy to share information with Lisa and the rest of us about his homeland.  After dinner, I quipped to Lisa, "You made his day!" as we headed to the Royal Promenade and the casino, where Ken schooled his daughters in the finer points of roulette.  Finally, we called it a day at 11:00 PM because we had to turn our clocks ahead one hour to Bermuda time.  I continued writing until midnight or 1:00 AM Bermuda time.

For those of you who are still curious about "Lisa's Excellent Adventure in Bali" you may follow her at:

http://lisasmusicalbali.tumblr.com

Bermuda Beach Blanket Bingo, Chapter I, June 3, 2011

Go Airport Connection picked us up promptly at 5:50 AM. Ouch, that was early but we did not have any trouble getting up since we never went to bed! LOL! Our flight was very smooth and only took 1.75 hours. We flew on the owl’s plane but the Frontier flight crew never told us the owl’s name. The Newark airport ground crew took us by surprise with their baggage-handling efficiency. We proceeded immediately to the baggage carousel but our suitcases had already arrived and been moved to Frontier’s baggage office. So we sat there with our education for 45 minutes until I decided to inquire about them. There sat our three suitcases in the Frontier office. Live and learn!

We arrived at the Hilton Penn Station Hotel at 1:00. [We were happy that the Russos picked the Hilton so we could get our Hilton Honors points. FYI: Both Newark and New York City have a Pennsylvania Station.] Knowing the Russos would not be arriving until 4:30, we went down to the hotel’s restaurant for lunch. We each ordered a celebratory, start-off-the-vacation Bloody Mary. Little did we know our presumptuous waitress would bring us super-hot ones! Jill finally had hers remade; I kept adding water to mine until I finished it; I refuse to be beaten!

We returned to our room and took a refreshing, four-hour nap. We would not have survived the rest of the day without it. I texted Diane that we were in room 828 and awaiting our marching orders from Kommander Ken. She texted back that the girls had just arrived via three connecting trains from Philadelphia. We rendezvoused at 7:00 and headed out. The original plan was genuine New York City deli food and an early night. We took the train from Newark’s Penn Station to NYC’s Penn Station. The Russos had located a deli within walking distance of the latter. [Unfortunately, the name of the deli is not in my notes.] We shared a plate of normal-looking pickles and neon-green pickles. The latter had a very mild taste. I quipped that they were still cucumbers which had not completed the metamorphosis to pickles! Personally, I think that Milwaukee cole slaw is better than the NYC-deli variety. Each couple and the two girls split a sandwich due to their enormous size.

Since the Empire State Building appeared to be only a couple of blocks away, we walked over for a tour. Walt Disney, the master of hidden mazes, would be proud how, after a short wait on the ground floor for an elevator to the 80th floor, the unwitting tourist alights to find himself/herself in a hidden maze there winding its way to a second elevator to the 86th floor, where the actual observation deck is. [Perhaps the ESB got the idea from Walt!] While we were waiting I tried to call Moms Wolf but thanks to AT&T, the world’s worst network, I could not get a signal. It was a cool night out on the observation deck. I was attired in a tank top and shorts from the scorching NYC daytime so after making one circuit of the deck I returned inside. Not only did the height make me nervous but also the tourists holding their cameras. I was expecting someone to drop his/her camera 86 stories!

Our day did not become a “Bataan death march” until we could not find our train back to Newark. Diane attempted to ask an employee dressed like a conductor but he was no help. “I am not sure where this train [the one he was standing next to] is going. You’ll have to check the monitor.” Despite the size of NYC and the level of activity in the station, there was no information person on duty. Finally, Stephanie, I believe, determined that we wanted the 11:52 train. The track is not announced until ten minutes prior to departure so at 11:42 our group plus other assembled interested parties made a mad dash for track #11.

At the tail end of our ride back to Newark we were “entertained” by two men who were verbally sparring in a racially-motivated exchange. They intended to kick their dispute up a notch to fisticuffs as soon as the train stopped but, thankfully, transit cops arrived before the throw down. We could not return to our hotel via the bridge connecting it to Penn Station because the bridge was closed. “This is a high crime area,” noted Diane. “On that note,” I quipped, “thanks again for inviting us!” Despite the Russos’ good intentions of making this an early night, we returned to our hotel at 12:30 AM!

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~Larry a/k/a Wolfconsin