A Lutheran 24/7!

I meant to share this story with my pastors upon my initial return to my church.  During my two days of sedation, which I have no recollection of, one of my visitors was the chaplain for the Wisconsin Heart Hospital.  He led my family members - wife Jill, sister Penny and niece Kassie - in the Lord's Prayer.  Halfway through it, he looked up and nudged Penny.  "Look, Larry is praying along with us!  You told me he was out of it!"  "He is out of it," responded Penny.

The moral of this story is:  if anyone doubts that a Lutheran can pray the Lord's Prayer in his sleep, I am living proof that it is true!

Wifey is Real!

Some of my texting buddies do not believe that Wifey is real.  Here is a picture of her (right) along with my handsome self (left) and my late, beloved Mommy (center).  This picture was taken exactly two years ago at my niece Becky's wedding.  I can appreciate my texting buddies' disbelief or jealousy.  Most of them do not have a significant other.  I am not being judgmental, just factual.  LOL.  To be fair, all of us text because we have no lives.  LOL.

Jill's Bicycle Leaves Garage (Temporarily)

Jill's bicycle, unused since at least 2000, when she was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, a nerve disease causing widespread pain.  It was going to go to a deserving young lady in Texas if she wanted it.  Even though she did not respond either way, I believe her pride makes her uncomfortable accepting the kindness of strangers.  She does have my admiration for trying to make it on her own on fast food wages.  Jill's bicycle will now go back up on its hooks in the garage, like one of the toys on the Island of Misfit Toys.

"Freak Fifty" declared "freaktastic!" - Part I

[Saturday, September 1, 2012]  "Everything went smoothly."~Penny  Not quite.  If it had, I would have nothing to write about!  LOL!

The day started with Freakboy [Dan] having to act as mediator between his two sisters, Beth and Kassie.  Kassie reported that her family had gotten a late start leaving Columbus.  Dan reminded her that gung-ho Beth would be anxious to get underway.  I could not resist jumping into the fray, texting and fibbing, "Beth is already here and ready to go!"  Not to be outquipped, Kassie texted back, "Then we are turning around and heading back home.  It is not a family bike ride if people are left behind!"  After telling Kassie she was turning into her grandma (no offense, Grandma!) Dan's group [Dan, Maria, Penny and myself] loaded our bikes on, and ourselves into, Dan's vehicle and departed for the trail-head of the Little Miami National Scenic River Trail.

Ironically, after all the drama, Beth's and Kassie's families pulled into the trail-head parking lot simultaneously.  Upon seeing Kassie's vehicle, Dan suddenly realized he had forgotten their t-shirts back at his house.  Mishap #1.  Penny, who was not riding but instead captaining the support squad, immediately stated she would drive back to Dan's house, retrieve the t-shirts and bring them to the first rest stop in Loveland.  Unfortunately, Kassie sealed her family's own doom by talking her mother into driving her van.  When Penny arrived back at Dan's house, she reached up to press the button to open the garage door as Dan had instructed her to do to enter the locked house.  At this moment, she realized, oops, she was not driving Dan's vehicle!  Mishap #2.

The eleven starting riders enjoyed a nice 9-mile ride between Milford and Loveland.  It was humid but the temperature was nowhere near last year's 100 degrees.  Coincidentally, there were also eleven riders last year but not the same eleven as this year.  It was Kassie's, Maria's and Rosie's first year behind the handlebars.  They replaced Elise and Gavin, who had to work, and Ally, who wimped out at Loveland last year and decided not to ride at all this year.  Superwimps Jill and Penny have never ridden but somebody's gotta be on the support squad.  I biked alongside Kassie and chatted with her about the new school year at Ashland University, where she is an adjunct professor.  I also biked with Beth and we compared notes about the plethora of satellite radio channels available to us in our respective new vehicles.

I am going to break this up into two or more parts.  I want to give my ardent followers something to read right away while not losing the attention of my not-so-ardent followers.  I also want to turn control of my laptop over to CyberDefender so they may speed it up before I smash it!

To be continued...

"Freak Fifty" Foto Gallery

The entire ensemble of "Freak Fifty" Fools.  Standing (from left to right):  Dan (the Freak himself), Jim-Bob, Seth, Rosie, Caleb, Elise, Carrie, Ally and Phil.  Seated (from left to right):  Beth, Maria, Kassie, Jill and Larry.  Ally, Jill and Penny (the photographer) served on the support squad.  This picture was taken outside Miranda's Ice Cream Parlor in Morrow, Ohio, the halfway point and lunch break.

The "Freak Fifty" Final Four:  Jim-Bob, Larry, Kassie and Dan (the Freak).  These were the only four to undertake the return trip from Morrow to Milford and finish the full "Freak Fifty."

Larry arrives in Loveland, Ohio.  This was the last rest stop before the final leg of the "Freak Fifty."

Jim-Bob and Dan (the Freak) arrive at the finish line at the trail-head in Milford, Ohio.

Kassie and Larry arrive at the finish line, concluding the second annual "Freak Fifty."  Final total per Larry's bike computer:  46.85 miles.

 

The night I almost had to give the sermon

My Lutheran church has a very "informal" Wednesday night service.  On several occasions the hymn boards were not changed.  There was nothing I could do about this since I don't know where the numbers and stepladder are stored.  (Perhaps I should investigate.)  On several other occasions the stands into which the communicants are to deposit their individual wine cups were not put out.  Even though I am not an elder or even an usher I brought out these stands.  On another occasion, due to a shortage of ushers, I was pressed into service to help collect the offering.  On another occasion, due to the usher(s) suddenly disappearing, I passed out the bulletins.  On another particularly humorous occasion during Advent, on my way up to the balcony to find a seat, I spotted our organist on the first floor.  Wishing to say hello, I walked over to her.  She handed me her keys and instructed, "Please park my car."  Finally, on one occasion when she and the assistant organist had a miscommunication and the former failed to show up, I almost had to play the organ.  All of these incidents combine to move me to quip, "I have done everything on Wednesday night except give the sermon!"

Last night my worst nightmare almost came true.  It was 6:30 and the organist had not started playing.  I looked up into the balcony and she was not even sitting on the organ bench.  Instead, she was running around the narthex [lobby] of the church.  I looked at Jill and whispered, "I don't think the pastor is here yet."   I looked again into the narthex and observed the organist's husband, the elder on duty, pacing and talking into his cell phone.  At 6:35 the organist came to the front of the church.  "The pastor is on his way but is stuck in traffic.  We will sing some songs while we wait."  Before she could start the first song, her husband also came to the front of the church.  "The pastor is here now and we will be underway shortly."  The organist ascended to the balcony and began playing the pre-service music.
At 6:45 our senior pastor appeared, apologized and promised that he would make up the time by cutting back on his sermon.  The congregation chuckled appreciatively, since he is known for his long-winded sermons, and I gave a sigh of relief.  He did make good on his promise, cutting back from his usual 25 minutes to 15.

[For the record, I am not an ordained Lutheran minister and may never give the sermon.  LOL.]   

I survived the Port Washington 50! (Part II)

Before I begin part II, I feel the need to apologize to the fourth member of our team, Paul, for my slight of not mentioning him in part I.  While not a founding member of the Port Washington 50, he earned the dubious distinction of bringing rain to our event for the first time back when he signed on.  Howl-ever, he finally lived down his title of "Rainman" this year when even he could not end the drought of 2012!

After using one of my two allotted cell phone calls to tell Jill we had safely made it to Port Washington, we bid farewell to Harry's and PW.  When we leave PW, we trade the "cooler by the lake" route for the usually much warmer Interurban Trail.  Howl-ever, we still enjoyed a cool breeze as we traveled through the communities of Grafton, Cedarburg and Mequon.  In previous, hotter years I felt like abandoning the ride and jumping right over the fence into the Grafton (or Mequon) public pool!  One particularly hot year, I looked forward to just standing in the Mequon pool's shower with all of my clothes on.  Unfortunately, it turned out to be a hot shower offering no way to regulate the temperature.  Ugh!

Since its opening a few years ago, the trail bridge over Interstate 43 has really enhanced our enjoyment of the ride.  It eliminated two grueling hills and shaved about a mile off the total distance.  (It is still over 50 miles.)  During the ride back, Bob informed me that another improvement is in the works.  The trail is going to be straightened out at a point we now refer to as "Dead Man's Curve," where the trail makes an abrupt, right-angle turn to avoid a WE Energies substation.  Since the bridge seemed to take forever going from concept to reality, it should be interesting to monitor howl long the straightening takes!


As we approached our final scheduled rest stop, Mequon's public pool, Bob, Dave and Paul obliviously kept on pedaling.  Momentarily dumbfounded, I stopped at a picnic table, pulled out my cell phone and typed Bob's number, hoping he would hear the ring and answer since he has never set up his voice-mail.  When he did answer, I informed him that I was stopping as was traditional.  He said he would alert Dave and Paul.  When they all returned to the rest stop, Dave explained that they were anxious to get back to Bob's house [our starting point] for the celebratory beer!

Bob informed me that they would join me this year on the final leg of the Interurban Trail because Paul had discovered a new connecting trail that would take us beyond busy Brown Deer Road into Brown Deer Park and right onto the Oak Leaf Trail.  (Bob and Dave had obviously forgotten that I had also told them about this connector.)  Howl-ever, when the three of them continued east down Bradley Road, I decided to stick to the Oak Leaf Trail back to Bob's house.  (Paul later told me I would have been OK with his route as it was non-hilly.)

I arrived at Bob's house at 2:30 PM (we had started out at 7:30 AM), about five minutes behind the three of them.  According to my bicycle computer, I had traveled 55.44 miles and my actual riding time was five hours, leaving two hours for breakfast and rest stops.  Hostess Marie, Bob's wife, served us beer, snacks, washcloths and ice water at the afterglow party.  A special appearance at the party was made by a future rider on the PW 50, Bob and Marie's new, first, one-month-old grandchild, June Marie.  (June?  Poor kid!  Is this 2012 or 1912?  In case the parents happen to read this, just kidding!)   


My next major bike ride of the summer will be the second annual "Freak 50" on Labor Day.  It is also fifty miles (duh!) and the "Freak" is my nephew Dan.  In his teaching days (he is now a labor negotiator) he tried to look like his students, hence the moniker "Freak."  The nickname stuck even though today he looks more like Screech from "Saved By the Bell."  The route follows the Little Miami Scenic River Trail from Milford, Ohio (suburban Cincinnati) northeast to Morrow and returns the same way to Milford.  Last year there were 11 riders and four womanning the sag wagons and refreshments.  Check back here in September to see how we fared!