The night I almost had to give the sermon

My Lutheran church has a very "informal" Wednesday night service.  On several occasions the hymn boards were not changed.  There was nothing I could do about this since I don't know where the numbers and stepladder are stored.  (Perhaps I should investigate.)  On several other occasions the stands into which the communicants are to deposit their individual wine cups were not put out.  Even though I am not an elder or even an usher I brought out these stands.  On another occasion, due to a shortage of ushers, I was pressed into service to help collect the offering.  On another occasion, due to the usher(s) suddenly disappearing, I passed out the bulletins.  On another particularly humorous occasion during Advent, on my way up to the balcony to find a seat, I spotted our organist on the first floor.  Wishing to say hello, I walked over to her.  She handed me her keys and instructed, "Please park my car."  Finally, on one occasion when she and the assistant organist had a miscommunication and the former failed to show up, I almost had to play the organ.  All of these incidents combine to move me to quip, "I have done everything on Wednesday night except give the sermon!"

Last night my worst nightmare almost came true.  It was 6:30 and the organist had not started playing.  I looked up into the balcony and she was not even sitting on the organ bench.  Instead, she was running around the narthex [lobby] of the church.  I looked at Jill and whispered, "I don't think the pastor is here yet."   I looked again into the narthex and observed the organist's husband, the elder on duty, pacing and talking into his cell phone.  At 6:35 the organist came to the front of the church.  "The pastor is on his way but is stuck in traffic.  We will sing some songs while we wait."  Before she could start the first song, her husband also came to the front of the church.  "The pastor is here now and we will be underway shortly."  The organist ascended to the balcony and began playing the pre-service music.
At 6:45 our senior pastor appeared, apologized and promised that he would make up the time by cutting back on his sermon.  The congregation chuckled appreciatively, since he is known for his long-winded sermons, and I gave a sigh of relief.  He did make good on his promise, cutting back from his usual 25 minutes to 15.

[For the record, I am not an ordained Lutheran minister and may never give the sermon.  LOL.]