Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Bermuda Beach Blanket Bingo, Chapter V, June 7, 2011

We barely made it down to the wharf on time for the “deluxe bus tour” [translation:  broken-down van] for the Horseshoe Bay Beach excursion.  David, a native Bermudian, was our driver.  Billed as a “pink” sand beach, it turned out to be a scam.  It looked like Bradford Beach sand to me except sans trash.  When our group decided on our spot, I backtracked up the beach to rent a chair for Jill.  The rental cost was $11 plus a $5 deposit, prompting another customer to chuckle, “You can buy this chair at Home Depot for $10 and keep it!”  I did not require a chair for myself since I stayed in the ocean the entire time.  Eventually, all of the Russos straggled into the water.  The only holdout was Jill.  I remember taking a temperature reading but it is not in my notes.  I do recall commenting that it was definitely not as warm as the Pacific Ocean off Hawaii.  We all liked the clear water and smooth, sandy bottom with no sharp pebbles.  Jill got a lot of sun on her face, which she loves.  Later, it would turn out to be lobster night, which couldn’t have been more perfect because Jill looked like one!  LOL!  On the drive back to the ship we asked David about the Waterloo House, a favorite haunt of Jill’s former client Lanny, a nine-time visitor to Bermuda.  David informed us that we were two years too late; the Waterloo House was history.  We would have to go back to Milwaukee and break the bad news to Lanny that we were unable to play skittles there.  L      

Back at the ship the Russos were determined to hit the hot tubs.  We tried to “feed” them a  lunch  invitation to the Windjammer but Diane protested, “I’m already wet!”  So we parted ways and headed to the Windjammer by ourselves.  Despite the ship being in port the Windjammer was as busy as if we were at sea.  Window tables were at a premium.  Fortunately, we spotted an elderly (well, older than us) couple leaving and immediately commandeered their table.  Unfortunately, they returned a couple minutes later and demanded their table back.  A real man would have protested but I immediately surrendered and moved to another.  A gentleman seated at another window table overheard our altercation and kindly offered his table to us.  Despite all of this we still managed to enjoy our lunch.  Finally, the wife of the other couple came over and apologized.  Sweet.

Ever heard of speed dating?  Well, after lunch all we had time for was speed shopping.  As we headed back out to King’s Wharf most of the passengers were returning to the ship.  We found the only shop with men’s tank tops at the Clock Tower Mall.  I tried on every XXL without success.  (Once again, growing boy.)  However, Jill scored two matching sweatshirts for us on sale.  Another shop was out of a beaded butterfly top Jill wanted.  Had the butterfly not flown away I would have selected a “Royal Naval Dockyard” tee in a matching color.  Instead she found  an “I  Love Bermuda” tank for herself and a “Dark ‘n’ Stormy” tee for me.       

We made it back to the ship at 4:30 on the dot [the passenger “curfew”].  Diane reported that after hot-tubbing she did some reading on her balcony and then showered.   We found the girls in their cabin.  We returned to our cabin and took a refreshing nap (sound familiar?).  Unfortunately, we napped straight through the “headliner” show.  Ken would later report that the comedian was very good.  Ugh!  We rejoined the Russos at 8:30 in the Columbus Dining Room.  Three of us made Ken queasy by ordering the mushrooms in puff pastry appetizer.  Yum!  As previously reported, it was lobster night.  More yums!  Even though Jill’s face matched the lobster, she did not order one.  Dessert was cherries jubilee.  A hat trick of yums! 

After dinner we headed down to Studio B for “The Quest.”  I remembered the title from the previous cruise but not what it was all about.  It soon came back to me, an adult scavenger hunt.  The audience was divided into teams.  The cruise director then asked each team to produce certain items, some innocent [a $50 bill] and others not so innocent [a bra].  The final “item” involved a male member of each team having to put on a bra, women’s shoes, etc., and then they were all judged in a mock beauty pageant.  It was hilarious. 

Our final activity of the day was watching the 70’s revue on the Royal Promenade.  The cruise director donned an Afro and led his staff, dressed as members of the Village People, in a medley of their hits.  The Russos retired and we went down to the Art Gallery and tried in vain  to find Jill’s picture with the “sailor” [a  member  of  the photographer’s staff dressed as one].

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